A Year in Tech: Sunk Costs Fallacy vs Never Give Up Attitude
One year!
I’ve been reminiscing on my journey. What I’ve been through this past year and how it all started with John Cena.
I grew up watching wrestling with my late father — he would have been heartbroken had he found out it was all scripted.🤣🤣
For the oldies, I loved Hulk Horgan, Bret Hart, Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. I even had a pinch of likeness for Kane and massive respect for Andre the Giant — man could knock you out with a poke.
In the younger generation, I admire The Rock because of the whole third-generation-if-you-can-smell-what-I’m-cooking-scorpion-king-black-adam-energy.
There is also Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Tripple H, Randy Orton, Miz, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, the rated R Edge and then my main guy, John Cena.
My love for Cena was so fierce that if he lost a match, I felt so bad and took my time to eat. 😂🤣🤣 What were you expecting to read?
I loved the guy, alright, but my stomach comes first.
My dad loved him. My mum admired his tenacity and jean shorts. (You just had to love those shorts). I so craved a wristband or even a customised shirt.
While I admired his carriage and charisma, his never give up attitude was what sold it to me.
He was the face of perseverance and endurance, and just when I thought I couldn’t love him more, he took to acting. (I love movies).
Peacemaker might be a shitty superhero with complex daddy issues, but you can’t argue that underneath the armour is a nice heart, sort of.
At this stage, I’m sure you’re wondering why in the heavens I’m going through the entire WWE list and hinting at movies.
Well, I needed to paint a picture of why never giving up matters to me and why I even cared about the phrase.
One year!
It’s been one year since I blindly dived into the tech space in search of an alternative source of income, additional soft skills, and a chance at a better life.
My story would have been that of a Canva creator had I not gotten that one recommendation from YouTube.
How It All Started
I had initially intended to master Canva when YouTube recommended a video with the title: Figma or Canva. Which is Better?
I remember the first time I opened a Figma board. I had no inkling of what I was looking at. My first thought was, Hell, no! What did I get myself into?
I ran away (Like Em wanted to do in NOPE the very first time she saw the alien ship) and sought counsel with my trusted adviser, YouTube.
The first video tutorial from Envato (Rhymes with Encanto) had me crying. Then I thought to myself, there has to be more to design than Figma, right? This can’t be it.
YouTube once again recommended a video about Design Books. (You know how they do).
I took a hiatus from Figma and started reading. I expanded my mind and immediately began to take cognisant of design implementation in my surrounding.
I began asking questions, albeit to myself: Why is this here? Why that colour? What is that position? Why? Why? Why? (Backstreet Boys for the win).
I didn’t always have an answer, but I was glad I had the questions. It meant my mind had experienced a shift in reasoning.
After staying away from Figma and getting acquainted through books, I went back to YouTube.
I was like, Hey. I love what you did with those books, but now I need better teachers for that Figma.
He listened and suggested other people who taught in the simplest of grammar. I got hooked, started learning, and before you know it, I was using Figma.
Not the pen tool, though.
I was so pissed I couldn’t get a bezier on one try and just found a way around it: Draw a straight line and bend angles. It does take a little patience, but it’s less frustrating for me.
I picked up my pace and eventually got a message about a design internship.
Side Hustle Internship
As someone who already knew enough about Figma and design, I wasn’t a greenhorn during the six-week internship. I did gain additional knowledge, but what has always made it count for me are the people I encountered.
We’re all still on the Telegram group, and despite being over 1k on the group, around 20 people have kept it active. We have these calls that always start out predictable and end up taking up all our time.
Love those guys!
The Questions
Throughout this journey, I’ve had my mind laced with questions: some of the common ones are
1. Am I Good Enough?
Oh, boy, did I want to stress myself with this question. Every time I followed a tutorial and couldn’t replicate it, I would ponder just what the hell I was thinking in the first place.
“Are you crazy?” My mind would ask. “What happened to sticking to writing? You’re not cut out for this tech stuff. Just look at you trying one technique all day. Girl please.”
It was a fierce battle of mind against well, mind. Some days I listened; shut down my laptop and switched to a horror movie.
On other days I insisted. A term the Igbo tribe in Nigeria calls kwechiri. I had the kwechiri attitude on some days and the zukwanike (rest) attitude on other days.
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you I don’t still ask myself this question. I do.
All the time.
But these days, I answer yes and move on.
2. What If I Never Get A Job?
I get that nagging feeling that I can do all that is expected and still won’t get diddly-squat for all my efforts.
I could be so excited about a design until the voice slowly creeps in and whispers, “What if you don’t get a job? Will it still be worth it?”
Yikes! I don’t ever know what to answer.
Every time I ponder on an answer it makes me feel like I’m agreeing I will never get a design job, so I let it go. If I ignore it, it feels like I know I won’t. Either way, I don’t win because I don’t have an answer.
3. Who Do I Listen To?
Noise!
The design world is so populated with learned designers and teachers that I was losing my mind.
For every video I watched, YouTube recommended 10. If I mistakenly clicked on any of those recommended ones, it smiled back and recommended more.
It was crazy.
Everybody was saying one thing or the other, and I was befuddled.
I finally landed on a video by an Indian who hinted at how everyone was inherently saying the same thing, and all I needed was to find those I wanted to listen to and stick with it.
I didn’t care about followers or likes but the content. I stayed as long as it was informative and straight to the point.
With time I kept a steady viewership with Jeese Showalter, Michal Malecwiz, Gary Simon (DesignCourse), Aleina Cai, and Mizko.
They might not be the best designers out there, but they give value in a very easily digestible form.
This list has expanded to include several others, like Designer Up, Flux academy, Punit Chawla, Vaexpereince, Rachel How, Wired to Design and many more.
As this anniversary came around, the current question hit me: Are you still in this field because of your never-give-up attitude or you’re leaning on the sunk costs fallacy?
The Sunk Costs Fallacy
The sunk costs fallacy is a pretty way of saying, “I can’t give up because I already put in too much. I sacrificed too much. I invested too much. I just have to keep going.” In other words, the costs that have sunk and cannot be retrieved.
By definition,
It is the phenomenon where somebody justifies an increased investment of money or other resources based on the cumulative prior investment (the sunk costs), despite new evidence suggesting that the cost of continuing now outweighs the expected benefit.
The Sunk Costs
-Data
I currently can’t place my fingers on how much I’ve spent on data over the past year. The cumulative of YouTube, Chrome, online classes, etc., is so voluminous that I’m sure it would cover up every other data usage in my life since I started using a smartphone. Heck, it’s even more than the price of my laptop.
-Boot camps
Then there are the boot camps: Side Hustle, Design Pal, Future Academy, and quite recently HNG which is set to commence on the 27th of this month.
I only ever finished the first one. My entire team in Design Pal suddenly went quiet, and that was how it died out. I got demoted for colour usage in Future Academy.
-The Certificate Courses.
I took the infamous Google course. (The heat this course has gotten is mind-boggling) and found it interesting until module 4. After 4, I don’t know again. I love the modules on UX. That was what I was searching for. Their UI, well, let me leave it open.
A fellow intern gave me access to his Interaction Design Course and though the certification was obviously in his name, it meant so much to me to tap into that knowledge and see a non-Google way of reasoning.
-Messed Up Sleep Cycle
When I’m not crying about data, I’m complaining about how messed up my sleep pattern is.
Here’s where I might differ from a lot of other designers: I sleep. And I mean, I sleep complete 8 hours a day no matter how long I stay on the laptop.
The issue lies in when I sleep and then finally wake. I had to alter my sleep routine to align with the light schedule. Whenever almighty PHCN brings the light, I work and practise.
This has unfortunately informed my body that on no account should it allow me to fall asleep before 5 or 6 am.
I kid you not. If I try to sleep before that time on a weekday then I’m only deceiving myself. I’ll roll a million times and try every angle and yet nothing will happen.
I realise it will take a while to get my former sleep pattern, so now, if there’s no light and I can’t sleep, I read.
It’s been the best use of time as it allows me to finish novels with pages as many as 300 in a day. (Not Design of Everyday Thing, oh. Regular romance and crime novels).
Imagine it. Staying awake from 10 pm to 5 am. You’ll pretty much even read two books if you’re fast.
But yes, design has altered my sleep pattern.
-The Time
I’ve spent tons of hours browsing for inspiration, designing, getting feedback, reiterating, reading, updating, etc.
You’ll laugh if I tell you what I go through to decide on fonts and colours. (I struggle with colours).
Yet, in between all these, I haven’t gotten a design job.
Bummer!
The human mind relies on positive, feasible reinforcements to keep pushing. The absence of a job denies my mind of that reinforcement as it constantly queries me by asking, is it worth it?
I keep asking myself, “are you truly keeping to design because you have a dogged spirit, or because you can’t imagine quitting now when you’ve already given so much?”
Sunk Costs Fallacy isn’t bad in itself, but in dire times, it can cause a person to be dangerously unrelenting in a venture that is glaringly doomed to fail.
I wish I can courageously tell you I’m still here because of John Cena, but the truth is there’s a little bit of Sunk Costs floating around my reason for designing.
I have truly come a long way. I have invested time, data, effort, and sleepless nights.
You have no idea how crazy my first case study was — I’ll be writing about that later on. Check it out here: https://www.behance.net/gallery/151754727/ATHIS-Reading-Club-App-and-E-Reader
I’ll be lying if I say my entire reason for staying on one year later is because I have an unbreakable spirit.
I’ve had my spirit broken a million times over the past year, but something always mends it.
Don’t even get me started on rechecking my sent applications just to be sure Gmail wasn’t glitching.😂🤣🤣
It hasn’t been all gloomy and shadowy, though. I’ve had collaborations with a designer whose trust in me is greater than the one I have in myself sometimes.
Every time we work together there’s always, and I mean always, something to learn.
The funniest part is how he’s always running after me insisting that I include it in my portfolio and I keep wondering if I did enough to merit it.
He’s a gem. An annoying gem, but a gem all the same. (Khalid). I’ve also had the privilege of working with a Senior designer who always makes out time to listen, even when I need to cry. (Jeremiah).
There are days I ask myself what am I not doing right? Even after applying every tip and trick, it just doesn’t pan out. Is it a portfolio update? Resume revamp? Shooting your shot? Connecting with others?
Do you know what I do on bad days like this — aside from watching a movie that is? I tell myself nothing is ever easy.
Even my writing can bear witness. I still battle with that incorrigible comma sign and mix up my dependent and independent clauses.
But I’m not where I started. I have articles from two years ago to prove it.
Whenever I feel that overwhelming disappointment in not being “there” despite fervent efforts, I tell myself, “hey girl, you were ignorant of Figma in 2020. Even when you started you had no idea of the terms or use. Now, you design, contribute to others, give reviews and can tell when something is off in a design. You’re doing well, girl.”
I know many designers like myself have done everything right:
they listen and apply the advice from the best teachers.
they pay for boot camps, internships, and one-on-one mentorship.
they subscribe to Slack, YouTube and Discord communities.
they’ve read The Design of Everyday Things and know about the ketchup concept
they’ve taken the Google course, applied UX laws, reviewed others and dropped their two cents once in a while.
they tag senior designers in their designs for more publicity.
they put themselves out there by updating and reminding people about their profession.
they have applied for every position, and yet nothing.
It’s a crushing feeling as that of Atlas holding up the world as an eternal punishment after he tried to kill the gods. (Zeus, Hades and Poseidon, obviously.)
It’s never easy. I don’t think it ever will be. It can only be tempered. If you’re reading this and have ever felt this way, you’re not alone. It’s always darker right before dawn.
I’ve just decided to go with it. At least I now have two digital skills: Writing and designing. It’ll pan out eventually.
Here’s a happy anniversary to me. Unfortunately, the laptop I started with took a bow in late December. A moment’s silence for her(😔). She saw me through rough years.
I know this new year in design is going to be different, and I can’t wait to experience it.
Till I come your way next time. Keep Pushing Pixels!
P.S. If you read this far, you’re a gem. If you skimmed through, I don’t blame you. I practically offloaded a diary session. Thanks, both ways. P.S.S If you jumped straight to the end, kindly leave a clap. It’s just down there.
