Chat Etiquette When Chatting With Strangers.

What was the first word that crossed your mind when you saw etiquette high up in the title?

I don't need to be a psychic to know that manners popped into your head first. Decorum. Acceptable behaviour.

How did I know?

Well, everyone knows. It's about the proper way of doing things. The acceptably civil way of handling situations.

Recently, I noticed an increased rate in "misetiquette" when people conduct chats with total strangers.

I took a survey. Or rather talked to a lot of people, anyhow you like, and I realised people are constantly erring when it comes to chatting with strangers.

Permit me to share what transpired between myself and a strange number.

About two weeks ago, a strange number sent me a "Hi." Now, I never reply to this. I sense it as rude and uncultured. Might be too much for others, but that’s me.

I ignored this chat for days; forgetting it was there. I went back four days later, hoping that the sender now had a clearer mind, but I met an additional "Hello."

What did I do? Guess.

I left it there and came back after another four days.

This time, I had a name. Just a name. I was fed up and chatted up the person at once, demanding to know who the person was and why the person kept sending hi's and hello's.

At the end of that conversation, that person needed the contacts of landlords and agents because she was in need of an accomodation and someone told her I knew people to ask.

Was she in need? Yes.

Did she go about it the right way? No.

What could she have done better? I'll show you at the end of this article.

Bad chat etiquette is a plaque that is infecting thousands by the day, but the good news is that it's not a hunchback or a disease that can't be handled. It just needs a little work here and there and you're good to go.

Dos and Don'ts of Chatting With Strangers

1.Don't Assume

Sounds simple, right? But far too difficult for people to grasp. In simple terms, the "chatee" doesn't know you.

Do not rush into a chat bearing hi’s and hello’s and hoping to get a warm and friendly response. Chances are, the other person might have lost their phone, forgot to pay the phone bills, deleted their WhatsApp, or whatever other reasons out there, and doesn’t have your number.

Don't just start with a hi and hope for a mr-Roger-reply. You'll be left on read for days. If not months.

2. Don't Use Abbreviations.

I'll tell you this: Never was it written anywhere, in any book or scroll, that abbreviating terms saved you an extra megabyte. Never!

Or have you read such before? Please, if you have, my email is open to you. Kindly send me the book and I'll see for myself.

But before then, there's nothing like that. So why do so? Imagine receiving a message like this

Hi. IWL 2 C U L8.

How does this make sense?

Remember, this title is about chat etiquette with strangers. If you were talking to your pals or lover, it's all good. Knock yourself out.

But it’s a big no when chatting with a first-timer. Type in full. How many seconds will you save on an abbreviation? Not much, I presume. So why bother with the WULLNP way?

Why?

3. Don't Start With What's Up?

The fan’s what’s up, bimbo!

Why would you start a chat that way? What happened to "good evening" and "good day" or "hi there" and "hello there?"

"What's up" is a bad intro for a chat.

You don’t know who’s at the other end of the chat. You have no idea about their pet peeves and likes. They can’t hear you speak. A "What’s up" might sound rude to one person and cool to the other, but how do you distinguish this in strangers?

Play it safe and use a conventional salutation.

Dos

1.Always Introduce Yourself And Purpose After A Salutation.

I can’t hammer this enough. Sometimes I think I need Mjolnir to help hammer it in people’s minds.

You need to introduce yourself. Save the person from having to rack his head for answers.

Life's full of a gazillion activities. Don't make chatting with you a chore. No one likes that. After a hi, include your name and purpose.

Bad chat etiquette:

Trust me, if I was on the receiving end—which I’ve been a couple of times—I’ll totally ignore you—which I’ve done a couple of times, too—until you’re ready to speak.

Good chat etiquette:

This makes sense even to Forrest Gump. In one short paragraph the chatee has your name, your reason for chatting, and how you got the number.

90% of the time, chats like these get a response in less than a day. Why?

Because it's straightforward and doesn't need any further figuring out. It's just simple.

Whereas the strings of hi's and hello's remain in read ticks until after a month.

2. Give Detailed Explanations

I hate random people chatting me out of nowhere without telling me how and where they got my number.

It activates my defense system and I'm in the mode of striking back. This isn't weird; it's just a security backup.

And I know I'm not the only person who feels that way.

Don't try to play smart or cocky and refuse to tell how you got the number. It doesn't help. With sis Kate's case earlier, even if she further inquired what pastor gave the number, you are to respond with the answer, not with something shitty like, "That's not a concern right now."

It's a concern! That's a private number you're chatting with! It's linked to accounts and metro cards. Of course it's a concern.

Always give a detailed explanation about the source of the number. It'll not only put the other person at ease, it'll also ensure you don't get blocked while you're still typing.

Back to my mysterious apartment hunteress. Here's how she should have sent the message.

That was precise. Detailed. And answered every question I would have tackled her with.

Want to know a secret? Even with all these details, I would still crosscheck with the president to know if it’s true.

But you get my point, right? It helps reduce paranoia.

So, when next you find yourself having to chat with someone you’ve never chatted with before, remember:

• Don’t assume.
• Don’t abbreviate.
• Introduce yourself after a salutation.
• Give a detailed explanation about the source of the number and put the other at ease.

It’s not about you. It’s about the other person. Imagine yourself in their shoes. How would you like to have a random fellow chat you up, out of nowhere, and dived right into asking you multiple questions?

Chances are you’ll say "Excuse me! How did you get my number?" and if you don’t get a reply, you tap the block option.

Do the right thing. Apply the necessary chat etiquette and avoid being tagged an ass.

Signing out!

P.S. You can also read up more articles on blog www.stasiascolumn.wordpress.com