“It’s unappealing.”

Hi, guys. This is my first design-related post. Sorry, it’s going to be a Debby Downer, wasn’t what I felt should be a design article debut, but I guess there’s never a good time.

A little about myself.

I draw, bake and write. Not really in that order, but these are my top three hobbies, but writing brings the money for now.

Why Design?

I decided on design late last year because I wanted to learn an extra soft skill that could launch me in an advantageous position in life.

I wanted something new.

Something different.

It initially started as Canva designs, but then one day I heard about UI and UX and my curiosity piqued.

I started researching, reading and gradually I wanted to know more. I downloaded Figma — basic beginner step — and my first attempt gave me a heart attack.

I ran away and headed for books and YouTube tutorials.

“What was this Figma, self?”

“Why was it on everyone’s lips?”

I found my answers after perusing tens of YouTube videos and material and, with time, I tried to ease in by taking courses on Figma first.

Shortly after that, I registered with an internship, Side Hustle, which was tasking and fun, as I could pick up one or two things.

I made good, friendly Side Hustle colleagues, and we still interact because none of us left the Telegram group. I took tutorials seriously, and I know before any sort of pay will start I’ll need to put in a lot of effort and sacrifices, which is why I’m working two jobs and still squeezing in time to design.

Anyhoo, enough of the backstory.

Most time I post my design on social media. Most times.

Fast forward last month, and a friend reaches out for me to give a design on a mutual friend’s site. I said okay and pointed out that I was a beginner.

He said okay.

I got to work.

In hindsight, I should have said no. I really should have said no. But all experience makes us a better person, right?

I have to own up to the fact that I got carried away and instead of reaching out after designing the home page; I went and designed everything.

This was supposed to be target practice, and I overdid it. I already had this idea of a revamp case study and how I would document what influenced my update.

Talk about flying before crawling.

Today I decided to chat the guy up and send him just the home page.

Hmm.

That was the beginning of the tears.

He said it was okay, sha, but not generally appealing.

I felt my heart make a crack sound.

Get me right.

I didn’t expect praises. I’m a beginner, and errors will surely be present in designs, but unappealing was just a hard blow.

There was no initial complement, too. They tell you to compliment a beginner in a sandwich manner, where you start with a compliment, then input constructive criticism and then end with a compliment.

Why so?

Because the mind of a beginner is fragile and one comment could end an interest.

Guys, I bawled.

I bawled so hard I had mucor running out of my nose. I called my person — not my boyfriend, my person. Someone I can talk to, and I let it all out.

It was too much. I reached out to another friend who is a designer. She’s really good, and I told her what happened. I cried, and she allowed me to cry well.

I kept rereading the messages over and over, and I just had my spirit down.

Would it have been bad to say, “Oh, nice design. You’re doing cool for a beginner, but, Anas, this isn’t what we want, sha. We already have something?”

That’s all.

I didn’t want any special treatment, just a little sensitivity. I guessed I asked for too much.

I’m a newbie. I’ll make mad mistakes. I remember when I started baking, and my cakes would do “things fall apart” inside the pan. I would want to kill myself with a cry until I realized its part of the process.

Even my icing designs were mad — in a bad way. Two years down the line, I’m asking myself if I did this, or it was someone else’s work.

The same thing will happen with my design. I know it. I just need to push myself.

I told my sister and the girl almost wanted to get on a call and fight. Love her so much.

I won’t be designing this week. I don’t think I have it in me. This week, until Monday, will be for the movie and my jobs. I need to get myself together. I watched Encanto to make myself feel better and singing about Bruno, Family Madrigal, and Columbia mi Encanto just lifted my spirit.

I expected my first article to be one badass article about designing and web3 and web2, etc., but that’ll have to wait. This will be a medium to express everything I go through as a newbie navigating this world, whether it’s design or just personal encounters.
I decided to share this because I know it won't be the last time I hear such remarks, but it might just be the last time I cry about it.

I don’t have a name for the page yet, but I’ll let you know when I think of something cool.

Until next time.

It’s your friendly neighbourhood designer.

(Yeah, I stole that one right off from Spidey. Deal with it)